I'm compromising by picking a weird hill to lie on.

There's no group chat member more enigmatic than the cool person who you all assume has the chat on mute, but who then instantly chimes in with no delay the moment something relevant to them is mentioned.

I laugh at the software as if I'm 100% confident that it's 2019.

If you'd just agree to hold your meetings in here, you'd have PLENTY of time to figure things out before the deadline.

I'm inside your head and I hate it. Please let me out.

Ok, how many coins for a cinnamon roll?

40 digits: You are optimistic about our understanding of the nature of distance itself.

The Norwegian adaptation of The Sword in the Stone takes things in a weird direction.

Help, I set my white balance wrong and suddenly everyone is screaming at each other about whether they've been to Colorado.

Thanks for bringing us along.

To avoid errors like this, we render all text and pipe it through OCR before processing, fixing a handful of irregular bugs by burying them beneath a smooth, uniform layer of bugs.

Don't worry--you're less likely to die from a space launch than from a shark attack. The survival rate is pretty high for both!

How about posts that are public, but every time a company accesses a bunch of them, the API makes their CEO's account click 'like' on one of them at random so you get a notification.

The fact that things like the npm left-pad incident are so rare is oddly reassuring.

Hang on, we got a call from the feds. They say we can do whatever with him, but the EPA doesn't want that laptop in the ocean. They're sending a team.

Disappointed that they caved to fan pressure and went with Ruth Bader Ginsburg over Elena Kagan.